Don't rely on the wrong people to help you - Juice Daily
Photo: iStock

Don’t rely on the wrong people to help you

Are you trying to accomplish a big project, such as finishing your degree while raising three kids, but somehow you’re stuck?

Or, maybe you’re just trying to paint a room or plan a short vacation, but nothing is coming together.

Stop for a moment to consider this: Are you falsely counting on the wrong people to help you?

After all, it’s impossible to attend college classes, paint your home or head off on a trip without involving other people. We all need advisers or physical helpers to do anything.

It’s easy to fool ourselves into thinking people are helping us when they aren’t. And, consider that it might not be the other person’s fault.

“I was counting on my small-town attorney to help me launch a non-profit business,” says a friend of ours we’ll call Jack. “A year later, nothing was coming together. I kept believing this lawyer had the skills to help me. He did not. It cost me about $50,000 to fool around – and the truth is, it wasn’t his fault.”

Jack told us he wanted to believe the lawyer could help him. But, in looking back, the lawyer did not claim to be the expert. He’d plainly told our friend: “I have never filled out grant paperwork before.”

Another woman we know wanted to finish her college degree. Instead of sitting down with the right counselors at the university, she relied on her sister-in-law to help her figure out what to do. It’s four years later, and our friend hasn’t signed up for a single class.

“I promise you that you’ll always be frustrated if you don’t have the right person to help you do anything,” says a prominent businesswoman in our community. “You have to search hard to find the right babysitter, the right hairdresser, or the right college counselor.”

A man we’ll call Dakota wanted to launch an after-school program for teaching challenged children to swim. “People in my area just yawned,” says Dakota.

Dakota finally got hold of the YMCA director in his town. He put Dakota in touch with a great swimming coach whose son was severely autistic, but a great swimmer.

“Within two weeks, we had six children with physical and mental disabilities in a swimming program,” Dakota told us. “If I hadn’t found this one coach, I’d still be at square one.”

The right person can put you on a healthier path for physical well-being, too. A friend of ours we’ll call Bill wanted to lose a lot of weight. He’d tried everything.

“The one thing that cut my appetite in half was eating a huge salad every day,” he told us. “But, I don’t like salad all that much.”

Bill ran into a man at a workout centre who suggested he make a smoothie of healthy fruits and vegetables every day. Bill started “drinking” four cups of fruits and vegetables every day. He’s now lost 30 kilograms.

Meeting the right person to become your life partner is critical, too. If you’ve been divorced or you’re trying to meet someone suitable for a first marriage, ask yourself this: What type of person would I want to be the mother or father of my children?

Shining a light on someone this way saves a lot of heartache. Think about how life will play out with this individual. Saying yes to the wrong person will destroy a huge part of your life – and theirs.

Tribune News Service

About the person who wrote this

Judi Light Hopson, Emma H Hopson, Ted Hagen

Liked this? Read these!

Got something to say? Get it off your chest here

The Juice Daily is a Fairfax Media owned website