11 signs you’re taking the new health wave too seriously Let's not go overboard folks
1. You read an article that espouses the virtues of avocado pits. And before you know it you’re popping an enormous avocado seed in your smoothie. Read that again: You’re eating the SEED from the avocado. Because, cray cray.
2. You buy tights to exercise in … that have the print of a g-string on the bum. And you wear them. Out walking. In public. Like this is normal.
3. You decide that spending $20 for a superfood salad (which is actually just green leaves, and the odd piece of roasted broccoli) with a $17 smoothie at (not your) local wholefoods cafe is reasonable. After travelling over 50 minutes in annoying Saturday traffic to get there.
4. Breakfast doesn’t look like breakfast anymore … instead of food, it’s some weird concoction of protein powders, superfood powders, vitamin powders, green powders and other such strange ingredients you throw into a $1000 blender. With coconut water, natch.
5. Your flatmates have banned you from making kombucha in the living room. Or in the house at all for that matter.
6. You cry when you can’t get into the latest hi-tech barre/yoga/paddleboard/kayak fusion class. Because FOMO.
7. You’ve stopped going to dinner parties, BBQs, friend’s houses generally, because you’re afraid their dessert might not be raw/vegan/refined-sugar free. Quelle horreur.
8. You researched Fat Water, and decided you needed it in your life. Even after reading that story.
9. You find yourself drawn to articles from endurance athletes who participate in 100km runs, and always write about how to slow down and take an exercise recovery day. That might mean you’re exercising too much. Just a thought.
10. You’ve started drinking gelatin. That’s gelatin – the powdery stuff that when mixed with water, makes it gelatinous. AND YOU’RE DRINKING IT.
11. You realise your new acroyoga fetish has become life threatening when you find yourself trying to outdo all the other acroyoga fiends on Instagram.
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